Modern Dating & Matchmaking
'Dating to I Do' Series | Part Two
PRESENTED BY OLIVIA BUCKLEY INTERNATIONAL
In part two of our series with CEO of America’s largest matchmaking app, Kellie Ammerman reveals the green flags, red flags, and secrets to finding real connection.
Meet the Matchmaker
Kellie, co-founder and CEO of Tawkify, the leading matchmaking agency in the United States, is not only an expert in love but is also preparing for her own wedding in Ireland this year. With years of experience helping people navigate the modern dating landscape, she understands the importance of recognising both green flags (the signs of a strong, healthy relationship) and red flags (the warning signals that should never be ignored).
A fulfilling relationship isn’t just about finding the right partner—it starts with knowing yourself. Self-awareness and emotional clarity create the foundation for deeper, more meaningful connections.
In this discussion, Kellie shares her expert perspective on how to identify relationship patterns, trust your instincts, and build a partnership based on authenticity and shared values. Through technology, psychology, and human connection, her innovative approach to matchmaking has helped thousands find lasting love.
Whether you are actively dating, in a relationship, or simply reflecting on what love means to you, these insights will help you create a relationship that aligns with your values and aspirations.
ABOUT TAWKIFY
Tawkify is the leading matchmaking service in the United States, redefining the path to meaningful relationships with a blend of cutting-edge technology and expert human insight. Founded as a sophisticated alternative to conventional dating apps, Tawkify offers a personalised, concierge-style approach that places a premium on genuine connection and true compatibility. Much like the bespoke experiences we create for our clients, Tawkify tailors each match to ensure that every relationship has the potential to be both authentic and enduring.
Navigating Modern Dating & Matchmaking
Dating in 2025 is more complex than ever. With ghosting, situationships, dating app fatigue, and emotionally unavailable partners becoming the norm, it’s easy to feel lost in the process. However, by approaching dating with intention, self-awareness, and a strategic mindset, you can significantly improve your chances of finding a meaningful connection.
Here’s how to navigate modern dating with clarity plus the top red and green flags to look for so you don’t waste your time on the wrong people.
Before you start dating seriously, ask yourself:
- What kind of relationship do I ultimately want?
- What are my must-have qualities in a partner (vs. nice-to-haves)? Get specific.
- Am I living a lifestyle that aligns with the kind of person I want to attract.
When you have clear answers, you will be less likely to entertain people who don’t meet your standards, saving you time and emotional energy.
Be Open to Multiple Dating Methods (Not Just Apps)
While dating apps remain a dominant force, they shouldn’t be your only avenue. In fact, many people are now turning to matchmaking services, social setups, and IRL connections to break free from the app fatigue cycle.
Ways to Expand Your Dating Pool:
- Matchmaking Services (like Tawkify): If you’re serious about finding a relationship, professional matchmakers take the guesswork out of dating and introduce you to quality matches.
- Social Circles: Let friends, family, and colleagues know you’re open to being set up. Personal recommendations often lead to higher compatibility!
- Interest-Based Events: Join activities or groups that align with your passions (fitness classes, networking events, hobby clubs). You’re more likely to meet like-minded individuals naturally.
Tip: Don’t rely solely on apps. Diversifying your dating methods increases your chances of meeting someone who genuinely aligns with your values. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there
Recognise Green & Red Flags Early
With modern dating being filled with mixed signals, knowing how to identify consistent, healthy behaviour versus toxic patterns can save you from unnecessary heartache.
Top 5 Green Flags
1. They Commit with Both Feet In (No One-Foot-Out Energy)
Modern dating is full of people hedging their bets, keeping options open, and refusing to define relationships. Someone who is intentional and present instead of treating you as a backup plan is a rare and powerful sign of real emotional availability.
What It Looks Like in Early Dating:
✅ They don’t play games. If they like you, they show it. They follow through on plans, initiate conversations, and you never feel like you’re in limbo.
✅ They say things like: “I really enjoy spending time with you and want to see where this goes.” Instead of the vague
“Let’s just see what happens.”
❌ Red flag contrast: Someone who acts interested but never fully commits (hot and cold behavior, avoids defining the relationship, still on dating apps).
2. Their Actions Match Their Words (Reliability Over Empty Promises)
People are tired of mixed signals and performative interest (saying the right things but never following through). Someone who is consistent and does what they say they will do builds trust and emotional safety.
What It Looks Like in Early Dating:
✅ If they say, “I’ll text you tomorrow,” they actually text. If they make plans, they show up.
✅ They don’t cancel at the last minute or leave you wondering if they’re flaking.
❌ Red flag contrast: Someone who texts about plans but never actually makes them or frequently cancels (“Let’s do something soon” but never commits to a date).
3. They Are Moving from “Me” to “We”
Many people date while still thinking only about themselves. A real partner naturally starts considering you in decisions – without force or pressure – because they genuinely see a future together.
What It Looks Like in Early Dating:
✅ Instead of saying, “I love hiking,” they say,
“We should go on a hike together sometime.”
✅ They start factoring in your schedule when making plans (“Would Friday work for you, or is another day better?”
instead of just assuming you’ll be free).
❌ Red flag contrast: Someone who only makes solo-focused plans (“I’m going here, come if you want” or never integrates you into their world).
4. They Show Up in Small but Reliable Ways (Micro-Consistency Matters More Than Big Gestures)
Dating in 2025 is filled with high-effort grand gestures that don’t last (love-bombing, big proclamations, then fading away). A steady, reliable presence is more valuable than big words.
What It Looks Like in Early Dating:
✅ They remember you had an important meeting and ask how it went.
✅ They check in with a simple “How’s your day going?” instead of only texting when they want something.
❌ Red flag contrast: Someone who makes a big romantic effort at first, then disappears or becomes inconsistent.
5. They Can Take Feedback Without Getting Defensive (Emotional Maturity Over Ego Protection)
Many people in modern dating lack emotional resilience – they can take everything as a personal attack. Someone who can receive feedback without shutting down or retaliating is a sign of emotional intelligence.
What It Looks Like in Early Dating:
✅ If you say, “Hey, I felt a little hurt when you didn’t check in after I told you I was having a rough day,” they respond with,
“I can see how that might have felt like I wasn’t thinking about you, and that’s the last thing I’d want. I appreciate you telling me. Do you want to talk about it now, or can I call you later to talk about it?”
✅ They reflect instead of reacting.
❌ Red flag contrast: They get defensive or dismissive (“You’re overreacting,” “That’s not a big deal”), or turn it back on you (“You’re always criticising me.”
Top 5 Red Flags
1. Inconsistent (Hot and Cold, Unpredictable Energy)
With so many options available, inconsistency is the modern dating plague. It leads to confusion, anxiety, and emotional exhaustion.
What It Looks Like in Early Dating:
🚩 They text for hours one day, then disappear for days without explanation.
🚩 They make plans and then cancel at the last minute – over and over.
🚩 You feel like you’re walking on eggshells, unsure how they feel about you.
2. Overly Charming Too Fast (Love-Bombing or False Intimacy)
Fast-tracked emotional intimacy often burns out just as quickly and can be a sign of manipulation. Real connection builds steadily.
What It Looks Like in Early Dating:
🚩They shower you with compliments, deep talks, and big plans for the future within days or weeks before truly knowing you.
🚩They want to spend all their time with you immediately, then pull back suddenly.
3. Avoids Defining the Relationship, Even When It’s Time
Many people date without true commitment, keeping options open while reaping the benefits of an emotional connection. In the early stages, it’s normal to take time to get to know each other. But if months go by and they still dodge conversations about where things are headed, it’s a sign they’re keeping one foot out the door.
What It Looks Like in Early Dating:
🚩 They say, “I’m just going with the flow,” or “I don’t like labels.”
🚩 They’re still actively on dating apps even after things start getting serious.
🚩 They don’t talk about the future – they avoid it entirely or postpone the conversation.
4. Makes Everything a Debate (Constant Justification-Seeking)
Healthy relationships require openness, not constant defence mode. If someone constantly challenges your feelings, it creates an exhausting power dynamic.
What It Looks Like in Early Dating:
🚩If you say, “I didn’t love that joke,” they respond with, “Why? It wasn’t offensive.”
instead of just respecting your feelings.
🚩Every conversation feels like a mental chess match instead of a natural flow.
5. Lack of Accountability (Blames Everything on Others)
People who never take responsibility will never grow. A partner who can’t own their mistakes will repeat them.
What It Looks Like in Early Dating:
🚩They blame all their exes for past relationships ending.
🚩They dismiss their own mistakes with, “That’s just how I am.”
🚩They never apologize without excuses attached.
In 2025 dating, the biggest predictors of a healthy relationship are consistency, emotional maturity, and true commitment. Pay attention to who makes dating feel easy, safe, and natural because real love shouldn’t feel like a guessing game.
Prioritise Emotional Availability Over Just Chemistry
Attraction is important, but emotional availability is what sustains a long-term relationship. In today’s dating culture, many people confuse intensity with genuine connection.
How to Spot Emotional Availability Early:
- They communicate consistently without disappearing.
- They show up emotionally, not just physically.
- They are comfortable talking about real things (not just surface-level fun).
If someone makes you feel anxious, uncertain, or like you have to chase them, they’re probably not emotionally available.
Tip: Stop thinking that chemistry is something that “just happens” or “is/isn’t there”. It is something that is cocreated and can be built and maintained. Instead, focus on finding a partner who prioritizes the relationship and consistently shows up. That is the key to long-term fulfilment in a relationship.
