Compatibility & Long-Term Success
'Dating to I Do' Series | Part Three
PRESENTED BY OLIVIA BUCKLEY INTERNATIONAL
In part three of our series with CEO of America’s largest matchmaking app Tawkify, Kellie Ammerman, explores the truth about compatibility, emotional intelligence, and what truly makes a relationship last.
Meet the Matchmaker
Kellie Ammerman, co-founder and CEO of Tawkify—the premier matchmaking service in the United States—is not only an expert in relationships but is also preparing for her own wedding in Ireland this year. With extensive experience helping people navigate the ever-evolving world of modern dating, she understands that finding the right match involves more than just chemistry—it requires deeper self-awareness and emotional clarity.
A strong, lasting relationship begins long before you meet the right person; it starts with knowing yourself. Understanding your values, emotional needs, and relationship patterns lays the groundwork for meaningful, enduring connections.
In this conversation, Kellie offers her insights on recognising compatibility, trusting your intuition, and cultivating a relationship built on authenticity and shared values. Her approach to matchmaking blends technology, psychology, and human connection—helping thousands of people build lasting, fulfilling relationships.
Whether you’re dating, in a committed relationship, or simply reflecting on what love means to you, these insights will guide you towards building a partnership that aligns with your long-term aspirations.
ABOUT TAWKIFY
Tawkify stands as the premier matchmaking service in the United States, transforming the search for meaningful relationships through a seamless blend of advanced technology and expert matchmaking. Designed as a refined alternative to traditional dating apps, Tawkify offers a highly personalised, concierge-style experience that prioritises genuine connection and deep compatibility. Just as we craft bespoke experiences for our clients, Tawkify curates matches with care, ensuring that each introduction has the foundation to grow into something lasting and authentic.
Defining Compatibility & Long Term Success
Many people assume that compatibility is about shared interests, mutual attraction, or similar personalities. While these factors can create an initial spark, they aren’t what sustains a relationship in the long run. True compatibility – the kind that leads to lasting success – is about deeper alignment in values, emotional connection, and the ability to navigate challenges together.
A Common Misconception
One common misconception is that personality traits, such as being extroverted or introverted, spontaneous or structured, determine long-term success. While personality affects how a couple interacts, it is core values – not personality alone – that ultimately determine whether a relationship will thrive. For instance, if one person values ambition and frequent travel while the other dreams of a settled, family-focused life, the disconnect will likely cause friction over time. While minor lifestyle differences can be worked through, fundamental mismatches, such as opposing views on commitment, parenting, or personal growth, often lead to deeper, long-term challenges that attraction alone cannot resolve.
Commitment to Working Through Difference
Research in relationship psychology consistently shows that lasting relationships are built on emotional responsiveness, shared values, and the ability to repair after conflict, not just chemistry or common hobbies. One of the leading experts in this field, Dr. John Gottman, has spent over four decades studying couples to understand what makes relationships thrive or fail. His research reveals that the key to long-term success is how couples handle challenges together. The strongest couples aren’t those who never disagree but those who communicate effectively, validate each other’s emotions, and stay committed to working through differences. The ability to manage conflict and foster emotional safety is a far greater predictor of compatibility than initial attraction alone.
Repair After Conflict
One of the most invaluable relationship skills – and a crucial aspect of emotional intelligence – is the ability to repair after conflict. Couples who master the art of repair, whether through humour, acknowledgment, or sincere efforts to reconnect, are significantly more likely to stay together. Additionally, becoming a master learner of your partner – deeply understanding their emotional needs, triggers, and what makes them feel loved – creates a strong foundation of security and trust. Gottman’s Love Map theory emphasizes that partners who continually learn and update their understanding of each other’s evolving emotions, dreams, and struggles form the most profound, enduring connections.
Emotional Intelligence
Beyond shared values, emotional intelligence (EQ) is one of the strongest indicators of relationship success. Studies published in The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships have found that couples with higher emotional intelligence experience greater satisfaction, resilience, and longevity. EQ includes the ability to communicate openly, navigate conflict constructively, and express empathy toward a partner’s needs. A partner who listens, adapts, and takes responsibility for their actions fosters stability and fulfilment in a relationship, whereas someone who reacts defensively or avoids difficult conversations can create an emotionally unsafe environment.
Ultimately, compatibility isn’t about being exactly alike or never having differences – it’s about how two people handle those differences together. Long-term success comes from emotional connection, shared values, and the ability to grow as a team through life’s inevitable challenges. Instead of searching for someone who simply shares your interests, focus on finding a partner whose values align with yours and who is emotionally mature enough to repair after conflict and continuously learn how to love you better. That’s the foundation of a truly lasting relationship.
